Bernie Sanders: Jobs, Not Jails (6/9/2015)

Speech Number 3: Radical Idea

http://prezi.com/meeqff2dr8dw/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy&rc=ex0share

Speech 3 Draft

COMM 131                                                                                   Ben Feldmann

Speech Number 3

Radical

My radical idea is punishment, trying to convince you that we should not put criminals in prison.

TED TALK

·      Why do we put a bunch of likeminded people together—isnt this counter-productive?

·      People who aren’t that bad, turn bad…people who are already bad, get together and turn really super bad

·      Shouldn’t we be trying to teach these people and rehabilitate them.

·      Especially non-violent offenders who do not pose a danger to other citizens

·      Is the solution for ignorance punishment?

·      Or should it be education?

·      We should be trying to reduce the re-offense rate >>>

·      Not only in prisons’ but in all institutions

o   Eric Fromm book, we prefer order over freedom if given the choice

·      Prison is not even an effective punishment, it clearly does not deter repeat offense

·      Maybe people even like it?

·      Not too mention the $$$ money prisons cost—companies profiting off of criminals

·      Minimum occupancy quotas in private prisons

·      We are just putting prisoners in there to become someone’s bitch and we don’t treat them humanely.

·      Society wants everyone to be a productive, contributing, and law abiding member of the social fabric. Incarceration does not create that outcome

·      Some Plato quotes

·      Discrimination within the system….racial incarceration rates

·      We also should not take away the right to vote-this is what causes people the have faith and feel satisfied by the system. If you take that away then people have no legitimate channel of access so they will seek illigitimate channels to express themselves.

Specific Speech Outline

1.     Show Consensus on issue

a.     State conviction rates for crime

b.     Number of prisons/ prisoners in the United States

2.     But Why?

a.     Society wants everyone to be a productive, contributing, and law abiding member of the social fabric. Incarceration does not create that outcome

b.     Why put these like minded individuals together, they get worseàcounterproductive.

c.     Doesn’t help them learn from their mistake

d.     Doesn’t help rehabilitate or reintroduce members to society

e.     Costs so much $$$

f.      Not humane—butt f*&%^ing fer dayz

g.     Racial discrimination and tension

h.     Not even effective deterent—recitivism rates

                                               i.     Study by Eric Fromm and others about

3.     Pitch Radical Idea

a.     Plato quote/ society in the Republic

b.     What if educated these men instead of punishing them

c.     We could

                                               i.     Save $$

                                             ii.     Lower discrimination

                                            iii.     Lower recitivism

                                            iv.     Be a more effective rehabilitation unit

                                              v.     Have a more nurturing and healthy society

4.     Conclusion

TED video

Speech #2: Start, Stop, Continue

Ben Feldmann

Zack De Piero

Comm 131, SBCC

8 March 2016

Speech Number 2: Deconstructing Speech Genre’s

Post-Speech "Start, Stop, Continue" Reflection

Genre: Motivational Speech>Sports Speech>Pre-Game Speech>Underdog Speech

Video: 

https://youtu.be/4o2LUMkNAQ0

Start:

• ·      Introducing myself before I begin
• ·      Giving an overview of what I will be talking about, before diving in (LaQuay’s move)
• Also come back to the outline at the end to wrap things up with a conclusion that recaps what people heard and reiterates the big points one more time.
• ·      Using more hand gestures
• ·      Smiling more, using more facial expressions throughout presentation
• ·      Changing voice when speaking, using tone to show emphasis and add meaning to the presentation
• ·      Having fun while presenting, because it shows and you can have positive infectiousness
• ·      Using more real-life anecdotes/ examples for comedy, or to help the audience connect personally to the speech
• ·      Locking in a specific speech topic as soon as possible so that I can think about it for as long as possible.

o   Try to lock in a topic during one of the first few units in the journal, then almost all of the pre-draft in-class brainstorming activities will be very relevant and take a lot of stress out of the drafting process.

o   Just commit to an idea and run with it, instead of spending so much time thinking of other choices, this way you can get started making progress as soon as possible, and be thinking about it outside of class to create a very good rhetorical situation.

• ·      Having a higher energy when presenting, more body movement, and excitement
• ·      Acting out the specific genre, making the speech into more of a performance. Actually doing the conventions and moves. Using specific tone or voices and acting out the speech, use the whole room, almost like a skit.
• ·      Practicing my speech in-front of someone from the class ahead of time and asking them what they think or how I could improve.
• ·      Looking at rubric specifically after speech is finalized to make sure all the requirements are fulfilled.

Stop:

• ·      Going off script
• ·      Getting so nervous
• ·      Putting hands into pockets
• ·      Speaking in monotone the whole time
• ·      Glancing around the room so nervously
• ·      Speaking too quickly and slurring words
• ·      Waiting to lock in topic until rough draft is due, it leaves with not enough time to think about the specific situation before writing the speech.
• ·      Drifting off when speaking, getting quieter as I run out of breath, just speak clearly and consistently.
• ·      Zoning out during other people’s presentations, because the last day looking for moves for the assignment showed me how much I could be learning from other people that would help my speeches if I paid that close attention to everyone.

Continue:

• ·      Practicing speeches many times ahead to get exact wording down
• ·      Using notecards when preparing and slowly using them less and less until they are no longer necessary
• ·      Filming when practicing so you have to commit, and so its just like it will be in the classroom
• ·      Timing each practice round to make sure speech is the proper length, and make note of how fast or slow to speak and when to pause so that the timing comes out correctly.
• Using laptop to film on speech days because its very convenient to record and upload this way, no transferring, all on one device for the post-speech reflection.
• Typing outline/speech draft because its easy to print and mark on while practicing out loud then correct re-print, re-practice, re-mark, re-correct and so on…through the process until it’s the best it can be.

• ·      Using the entire allotted time, but not going over.
• ·      Using Prezi when allowed to enhance presentation, and help memorize/keep presentation on track
• ·      Using comedic relief to make speech more enjoyable and memorable to audience
• ·      Picking contemporary/relatable topics to make speeches more interesting and easier to work on
• ·      Using thorough pre-write and speech draft process, along with repeated practice, practice, practice
• ·      Reading assigned unit readings and trying to connect them with speech/ speech process.
• ·      Practicing speech before class on the day of presentation so its fresh in my head

2 Classmate’s Moves:

1.      LaQuay’s Move:

Laying out all the pieces before starting. At the very beginning of his presentation, LaQuay had a slide in his Prezi that listed his general points. He went over each point in order giving an overview of what his presentation would look like.

Doing this helped the audience focus and pay better attention because we had a map to follow along with. We knew where we were in the presentation at each moment throughout, so we were never distracted—wondering where he was going. Also we we’re able to get more out of the presentation because we knew what to listen for specifically and how each point fit in to the overall picture.

Also at the end of his presentation LaQuay had a concluding slide that recapped his main points. This was useful because it tied the presentation together giving closure. It also refreshed and reiterated his main points as to leave a lasting impression in his audience’s heads, and show that his presentation was well planned out and prepared.

I want to start using LaQuays layout/recap move to help tie my presentations together and more effectively convey my main ideas to my audience.

2.      Daisy’s Move:

Actually employing the genre, while describing it. Both Daisy’s tone and overall vibe we’re spunky, positive, almost a little cheesy. This is exactly the same way college tour guides carry themselves, Daisy was able to imitate the conventions and moves of her genre perfectly.

Daisy’s move offers the audience another way to connect to the presentation besides just the actual information she’s presenting. She evoked memories within members of the audience because she made people really feel like they we’re on a college campus tour, and everyone can connect to that.

This useful move allows the audience to connect more deeply to the content and makes it more likely they will think about and remember the speech. I will try to start executing possibly even exaggerating the conventions and moves associated with my genre to enhance my presentations and enrich the content.